Opinion: Politics ridiculous even for self-proclaimed scandal lover
I love a good scandal. I do. I have to admit that I am completely fascinated by a public figure who gets busted doing the nasty with prostitutes, smoking crack, vandalizing, general conspiring with the forces of evil or my favorite, getting caught in a big fat lie.
There are several reasons that I love scandals and not just political scandals. Journalistic scandals, where a reporter has made up a story, sickens me. For writers, that is the ultimate unforgivable sin.
Celebrity scandals most of the time are pretty weak but there is one thing that is for sure about all scandals. There is nothing more uniquely American than one.
We love them. We celebrate them. We broadcast them 24/7 into every room in your house. There is just something about a public figure being publicly embarrassed and drug through the mud that we just can’t get enough of. One misstep on national television, buddy, and you are dead.
Watergate is definitely the most important scandal in our history to date. Nixon’s public downfall and shameful resignation set the bar for all scandals to follow. Nowadays, instead of ousting corrupt political leaders we just go for the sexual deviants.
It’s like the White House is becoming a reality TV series. I can see it now.
Tonight on "Bush & The Gang," Cheney’s daughter gets caught making out with a Puerto Rican girl in the Lincoln room! GW puts a cherry bomb in Nancy Pelosi’s private bathroom toilet! Hilarious prank, Mr. President! That’s not all, the whole gang has a pool party and Hootie and Blowfish are there to play!
I’m not sure exactly when our entire world started going to hell but I’m pretty sure it has been a gradual decline. Between senators taking wide stances in the men’s room and the Army’s Central Command leader having to resign because he didn’t want to go to war with Iran, I’m pretty sure it started awhile ago. I don’t really think any political candidate is going to make too much of a difference. I’m such a cynic now I would like to quote "South Park" by saying all elections are like choosing between a "Giant Douche" or a "Turd Sandwich".
I really wonder what goes through people’s mind sometimes. I mean, I’ve done some stupid stuff. Thrown Molotov cocktails at the Ben Franklin statue, ran out of gas in the middle of the Mojave Desert, went home with a deaf girl just thinking she had a speech impediment, the list could go on.
We have all done stupid stuff, though maybe not as drastic and offensive as what some elected officials have been busted for. Once you decide to run for office, start doing a movie star or make up a bunch of crap, put it in a book to make millions--you can’t hide anything.
Like slowing down to carefully observe a car wreck there is an innate tendency to watch. The demise of others makes us feel better about ourselves. Watching people on TV completely screw up their own lives puts our own into perspective.
My generation has been raised to look at our own lives with a broader perspective than ever before. As long as we know that our lives "aren’t as bad as that" then we feel better about what is happening in our own.
There is a term in broadcasting called "least objectionable programming," which means we will watch what sucks the least. As viewers we are OK with the fact that everything sucks on TV so we are just going to watch what sucks the least. This principle is applied in every facet of American culture.
People in Medieval times obviously did not have access to Fox News to get fair & balanced reporting, so when someone had screwed up majorly they threw them in the stocks and let people throw rotten tomatoes at them.
I think this is brilliant. Instead of bombarding everyone over some politico that is getting a little action on the side, let’s throw them (or anyone for that matter) in the stocks.
Somebody who is convicted of a non-violent yet morally void crime should be thrown in the stocks. Politicians, people who make racist remarks and stupid people should all be thrown in the stocks. I’ve got a real stanky tomato waiting right here.
