Good Morning
According to a new poll, Republicans are idiots.
Whoops, what I mean to say is that the recent Harris survey of 2,320 adult Republicans found that 40 percent of Republicans believe President Barack Obama is a socialist, 32 percent think he’s Muslim and the big one, 24 percent think that, “he could be the anti-Christ.”
Other popular candidates for the anti-Christ include Marilyn Manson for obvious reasons, Bill Gates because God loves iPods, Prince Hassan bin Talal of Jordan (he knows why), the ghost of Ronald Reagan and Taylor Swift because nobody that bad has so much success without being an agent of Satan.
Because they only polled in the single digits, Obama is the clear frontrunner.
And it’s pretty obvious why.
First of all, if you go to Google and type, “Obama is the,” the first thing that comes up is “Obama is the anti-Christ.”
Google knows its stuff.
Upon further Google searches, I came across the Web site for Landover Baptist Church. In the forum section of its Web site is a thread boasting proof that Obama is the anti-Christ.
The thread was started by a revolutionary named Jeb Thurmond.
If I had to guess, Thurmond lives in a fallout shelter in the middle of the woods and uses his church’s media center to post his right-wing rants. He’d use the library that’s closer to his house, but he doesn’t want to enter a socialist building filled with liberal literature. But that’s just a guess.
In Thurmond’s post, he lists 27 reasons why Obama is clearly the anti-Christ.
The list includes citations from the Bible and how Obama fulfils them.
The highlight is No. 26: “His name will be related to the number six hundred and sixty six [Rev 13:17-18]. Obama: Was born in Chicago zip code: 60606 (sic).” Not only that, but apparently the winning lotto numbers in Illinois on the day of Obama’s election were 666.
Case closed. What more proof do you need?
I say grab the arc of the covenant from that warehouse at the end of Indiana Jones, drink a bottle of holy water, put on your Armageddon pants and let’s head over to D.C. and overthrow the anti-Christ.
